I used to never cry. Like ever. I even laughed at my mom when she cried over commercials, movies or sad stories. I was NEVER going to be like that. And now...I cry at everything it seems (sorry mom).
I cried because the doctor's office of my surgeon said my insurance won't approve my surgery without a referral from my primary care doctor (I have a HMO plan) and I needed to get it like yesterday (the day this happened). I spent hours on the phone calling, begging and annoying people to make this work. It ended up working out, but not before I shed some tears.
I cried because my girls are teething (molars) and have been waking up at 3:30 am every morning and I am so exhausted, I can't take it anymore.
I cried at Grey's Anatomy last week (I was a week behind) when the older gentleman was apologizing to Meredith for beating her up after his seizure. It brought back memories of when my friend April was in the hospital after being t-boned and having her mouth wired shut, a tracheotomy and plastic surgery to fix her shattered face. That episodes injuries hit way too close to home (injuries not the beating).
I cried in my work bathroom after my interview for a promotion at work this last week. I blew the first question of the interview and finally settled down for the rest of it. I think I nailed the rest, but first impressions are lasting. I have been wanting and needing (pay raise for this twin mom please) this promotion. I want to further my career and I hope I didn't blow my opportunity. The promotions don't come along very often.
I cried because I had the worst food poisoning and I couldn't eat anything during Super Bowl.
I cry every time I hear Mike and the Mechanics The Living Years because it reminds me of my grandfathers passing. (Yes that dates me)
I cried when Sutton headbutted me and my lip started bleeding.
I cried when I thought about what we have been through the last year. My traumatic birth of the girls, their NICU stay, breastfeeding woes and my breast abscess. So much has changed and I am beyond blessed to have them, but time is flying and I want to cherish it all and take it all in. And maybe heal the wounds from their birth (physically and mentally).
I cried when trying on bikinis last weekend. Goodbye sweets, hello gym fanatic.
I cried because a co-worker was giving me a hard time that my twins are not walking yet. He said his kids walked at 10 and 11 months (not twins) and my girls were behind and I needed to get them checked out. I felt really awful over it. My girls were progressing so fast and then they got sick and they regressed during that. Ugh.
I cried when I got my IV for my Cat Scan last week. I never get upset when it comes to needles (I donate blood). I just look away and don't really care. But the pain that came with my IV last week was awful. Once he stuck the needle in, it felt like he kept pushing it in further and further. Dang, it hurt and I cried a bit.
I cry so easily and at random things. I got worse after becoming a mom. All I can think about is your mean co-worker commenting on the girls. I want to punch him in the face! What a jerk. Who is he a doctor? He needs to back the heck off. Cam took steps at 12 months, but didn't walk until 15 months. I have a friend whose daughter didn't walk until later than that. It just depends on the child. Don't let him get to you. If the pediatrician says all is good than that's all that matters. Those girls are amazing and have grown and changed so much since their early arrival. Sutton and Avery are just perfect how they are!
ReplyDeleteI got worse after becoming a mom too. And thank you for the kind words on my girls lack of walking. We try. We work with them so much. We help them stand, use walkers, use our hands to help them walk, etc. They may not walk yet, but they are so very smart. They just learned different things at different times. And yes they were preemie, so we are supposed to go off of their adjusted age which is 12 1/2 months. I just hope they are standing and taking a few steps by Mexico, but if not, no pressure for them. It upset me a lot when he said those things to me.
DeleteI can cry at anything. Seriously, commercials, facebook posts, you name it. It has definitely gotten worse once I became a Mom. Don't let that co-worker get you down. Your girls will walk when they are ready. Every child develops at his or her own pace. Try not to let him get to you! I know that is easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteOh I am the worst with animal stories. When I was pregnant, my friends used to send me links about dogs who lived amazing lives and got sick and had their ONE last special day and I would cry for hours. I still do at those. Breaks my heart. My heart is more tender now that I have kids for sure. And thank you for saying that about my girls. I know it is true and it is hard to not compare my children to others. They are doing so well and I know that they aren't behind, but it hurts when others say that about them.
DeleteAwwww I think it's good to cry and get it all out! Also that stinks your coworker is being so nosy! Every baby progresses at different speeds and that doesn't mean anything is wrong with them! Ben didn't walk until 13 months and I know a lot of kids that were later than that. So don't let him get you down!
ReplyDeleteYes it is. I realize that now, but as a child, I would make fun of my mom. I apologize to her often for that, haha. Thank you so much for sweet words about my girls. They are doing amazing. They are almost 14 months but 12 1/2 months adjusted. So they are on track.
DeleteCrying is cathartic. Let it out. Its not stupid or silly or anything to be ashamed of, just let it out. And lord I cry all the time about silly nothing.
ReplyDeleteCrying is therapeutic now. That is for sure. And I have cried a lot since becoming a mom.
DeleteSometimes I feel my best after a good cry! Granted, the cause of the cry is usually crap. But since having a baby, I cry if there are crumbs on the counter...I'm an easy break these days!
ReplyDeleteI am easy to break as well. Being a mother softens you up so much!
DeleteI'm mad at your co-worker. Kids walk when they are ready and there is nothing wrong with that!!! Don't let him get to you... my 18 month old isn't saying real words yet and some people are like "he should have sentences by now!!" Everyone thinks they know best, and they don't. Stupid nosy people. I feel ya on the bikini comment though... I have a girls trip coming up this summer and I'm like... how quick and cheap can I get lipo???? :-)
ReplyDeleteI am mad at him too. Every child develops on their own, at their own time. My girls are doing just fine. If they weren't, their pediatrician would tell us. And their pediatrician didn't walk until 18 months and she is a doctor. I told him that and he is just being an ass.
DeleteHaha loving the cheap and quick lipo comment. I could use some too. I made a joke to my doctor that when he fixes my hernia on Friday that feel free to give me lipo as well. Free of course. haha.
I used to also be a never ever ever cry type of person! And then I went through this phase where I cried probably at least three times a week (I think it was the birth control I was on) and now I'm back to not crying very often, but I can't NOT cry during sad parts of TV shows/movies, which I used to never cry during.
ReplyDeleteAlso I think your coworker was out of line saying that! Every child is different and has their own pace!
Sometimes I watch a movie just to have a good cry. So funny that we do that now and see how therapeutic crying can be.
DeleteI love this post! It's so honest! I'm a crier and I've always been a crier, but now that I have kids I feel like my crying has DOUBLED!! I used to make fun of my mom for crying at commercials and ever since I've had kids I find myself crying at commercials, too. #DangYouPublix
ReplyDeleteIt's really good to cry, though, because it gets it all out and clears your mind! Definitely nothing to be ashamed of, that's for sure!
I know, right? I cry way more often now than I have ever before.
DeleteOh crying isn't anything to be ashamed of. I just felt bad that I used to make fun of my mom for doing it. But now I understand why!
Having had one baby at a time and now two at a time.....twins are NO JOKE! My body is bouncing back WAY slower, EVERYTHING is harder.....and you also have ANOTHER job besides them! CANNOT believe someone made a comment about them not walking???? totally in the normal range especially considering how early they were. Although my others walked at 10 and 13 months, my husband did not until 18 months. So I will start worrying at that point. Not much progress on walking over here either.
ReplyDeleteTwins are hard. That is for sure. And you not only worry about one, but two at the same time. And when one progresses faster you get a bit worried too. But it is natural. Sutton crawled before Avery, but Avery sat up first. They hit milestones back and forth. I am so glad that I am not alone in this. Love hearing from other twin moms and knowing that my twins are on track as well. And my body is wrecked from kids, but I am learning to love it more and more.
DeleteOh man... trying on swimsuits is the worst... and bikinis?! AW HAIL NAW! lol
ReplyDeleteI feel for ya! I definitely cry over needles (with the exception of getting my blood taken...I've gotten used to that). It's strange...our body's emotional response to stress. Here's to less smiling in the coming days and months!
ReplyDelete